Wednesday 21 July 2010

WOW!

“And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him. And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.”
(Gen 2:20-25)
There are several factors that work for or against marriages and I want to examine the few we can see from this passage.
1. Your spouse is the best you could ever get! (V 23)
When Eve was brought to Adam he was excited. My paraphrase of his reaction is this ' Wow! This is the best I could ever get.' She meant all the world to him. You must consider yourself 'lucky' to have your spouse rather than consider him/her 'lucky' to have you.
Many couples don't really appreciate each other. They see the other party as not been so good enough for them. Hence they at times begin to wish that they had married some one else.
Any time you think your spouse is not good enough for you, remember that you chose her anyway. And you must be a fool to have made a wrong choice, alas it's too late. What that means is that you are not as good as you think you are. So make Him/Her your best.
Some months after I got married God told me I was not grateful for the Wife He gave me. He showed me that the greatest gift a man can ever get on earth apart from salvation is a Wife or Husband. God asked me 'is it when I give you cars or houses that you will thank me?' Honestly, it was after that encounter that I began to value my wife, and am still learning to appreciate what a gift she is to my life. Hey girl "you're the best 'thing' that ever happened to me!'
2. Your Spouse is a Part of you and NOT someone external to you. (V23-24) Bone of my Bones means a part of my system. No one is complete until they marry! Now that you are married you must take your partner as one with you.
“So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.” (Eph 5:28-31)
Seeing your spouse as one with you has so many implications. You will treat him/her as you would yourself. Hey! You won't slap your mouth when it speaks the wrong word. You won't slap your hand when it burns the food in the kitchen. You would definitely take it easy with yourself when you bash your car into a wall.
Your Spouse is one flesh with you. No hiding things from your flesh. No cheating your self.
The Truth is, if your marriage is going good two of you will all
enjoy it, if it's going bad none of you will enjoy it. You can't
cheat on your spouse and enjoy it; you only deceive your self.
For example anyone indulging in extra marital affairs hurts himself as well as the spouse. Whatever you do to your spouse you do it to your self!
3. You must be naked and not ashamed (v25)
The implications of this are varied:
· No cover up. Nakedness brings shame, that's why we sane folks wear clothes and the mad ones don't. (The half covered may not be as sane as they think!) However, in marriage there is no need to be ashamed of whom you are. Present your life to your spouse as you are: past, present and future; poor or rich, intelligent or dull etc. Never pretend to be what you are not. Some folks wear masks all through their lives. When you want to marry, you've got to unmask your self.
· Be vulnerable and not defensive. Vulnerability is the quality that makes you free to be your self, to make mistakes and admit them before your spouse and not be ashamed. To fail graciously. Your spouse is not your competitor but your complementor, your helper, your lifter.
What it also means is that as a spouse, you must not take your partner to the cleaners when they are naked before you.
· Nakedness connotes Intimacy. Some spouses can't be physically naked before each other! Married couples should not be ashamed to talk about their sexual affairs. No looking for excuses to avoid it either. But intimacy is not limited to sex. Spend time together, know each other, plan and work together.
· Nakedness implies openness. A Brother with a Masters degree in Law died and the wife (with a Masters in Law too) did not know the landed property and bank accounts this man had. That's shameful. This couple was not open about their lives with one another. Some couples don't know the salaries of their partners and they are Christians. Shame!! What are you hiding?